What to Expect

What to Expect

I spent years searching for something that could drag me from my self-confidence nightmare. I hated that I was scared to do anything. Terrified that every person I met was judging me. And worse, I couldn’t see a way out, that would work for me.

I was reading books and taking training programs, but the experts I was listening to, were telling me to do things like “take massive action” and “say yes to everything for a day” and “the more anxious you feel about doing something, the more you need to DO IT”, etc.

To be honest, I felt really motivated every time I listened to them. I was pumped. Full of ideas that were going to change my life forever. Then reality struck.

I was too scared to answer the telephone, so there was no way I was going to take massive action! Massive action for me was asking a stranger the time.

This was when I recognised two things…

  1. The only way I was going to take any massive action, was if I was put in a position where I didn’t have a choice. (for example, group training days at work, etc.)
  2. I could push myself every day, to do something towards my goals that felt uncomfortable, but moved me forward.

On this page, I’m going to explain why I think it’s important to take the process of growing your confidence slowly. It’s all well-and-good, making plans to achieve great things in a short space of time. But, if your self-confidence is in the toilet, what hope do you really have of that being successful?

Now, there’s lots of reasons for taking the incremental route to self-confidence, so this article is necessarily quite long.

But if you’d rather just go straight to facts, click to the conclusion using the menu below. I would highly recommend you read the entire article when you have time though 🙂

 

Introduction:

By just going for the big audacious goals, you’re probably going to end up disappointed and losing faith in the process. And, it’s unlikely that you want to be confident in every area of your life straight away, right?

There’s probably something that’s happened, or is about to happen, that’s pushing your anxiety buttons. And your immediate thoughts are to become confident enough to overcome that particular issue.

One of the best things about learning the process and building slowly, is that you don’t just learn how to behave confidently, but you actually become a confident person! Once you start to become a confident person, you begin to deal with issues that used to be stressful, with calmness and confidence. Isn’t that a much better result?

So, let’s dive into why the little things can have a huge impact on boosting your self-confidence!

Picture this: self-confidence is like a muscle that needs regular exercise to grow stronger. It’s not just about achieving big goals or major accomplishments; it’s the small, daily actions and habits that can make a significant difference in how you feel about yourself. Here’s why the little things matter:

 

Consistency:

Consistently practicing small acts of self-care, positive self-talk, or setting and achieving small goals can build a foundation of confidence over time. Each small win adds up and reinforces your belief in yourself.
Let’s talk about why consistency is like the secret sauce when it comes to building up your self-confidence. Think of it as watering a plant – you can’t just drench it once and expect it to thrive forever. So, consistency matters:

Repetition is Key: Just like practicing a musical instrument or a sport, building self-confidence requires repetition. The more you engage in it, the more it becomes a natural part of who you are.

Creating Habits: Consistency, helps you form habits. When you make self-confidence-boosting activities a regular part of your routine, they become ingrained in your daily life. It’s like brushing your teeth – it feels odd when you skip it because it’s so ingrained in your routine.

Building Trust: When you consistently follow through on your goals and commitments to yourself, you build trust within yourself. This trust forms the foundation of self-confidence because you know you can rely on yourself to take action and make positive changes.

Seeing Progress: Consistency allows you to track your progress over time. Small, consistent steps add up, and you start to see how far you’ve come. This visible progress boosts your confidence and motivates you to keep going.

Overcoming Setbacks: Building self-confidence isn’t always a smooth journey. There will be setbacks and challenges along the way. Consistency helps you bounce back from setbacks more easily because you’ve already established a strong foundation of belief in yourself.

Self-Discipline: Consistency requires a level of self-discipline, which is a valuable skill in itself. By practicing consistency in building your self-confidence, you also strengthen your ability to stay committed and focused on your goals.

So, think of consistency as your best friend on the journey to self-confidence. It’s about showing up for yourself day in and day out, doing the work even when it’s hard, and trusting the process. Remember, small steps taken consistently lead to big transformations in the long run!

 

Mindset Shift:

By focusing on the small victories, you train your brain to notice and appreciate your progress. This shift in mindset helps you see yourself in a more positive light, leading to a boost in confidence.

Here’s some examples of why this shift is crucial:

Positive Self-Talk: Your mindset shapes the way you talk to yourself. By adopting a positive mindset, you start replacing self-doubt and criticism with words of encouragement and support. This shift in self-talk can significantly impact how you perceive yourself and your abilities.

Focus on Strengths: A mindset shift helps you focus on your strengths rather than fixating on your weaknesses. By acknowledging and celebrating your strengths, you build a more balanced and confident view of yourself.

Embracing Challenges: With a growth mindset, challenges are seen as opportunities for growth rather than threats to your self-esteem. You learn to embrace challenges, knowing that overcoming them can lead to increased confidence and resilience.

Gratitude and Positivity: Shifting your mindset towards gratitude and positivity can help you appreciate your journey and the progress you’ve made. Gratitude fosters a sense of contentment and self-worth, which are essential components of self-confidence.

Resilience: A positive mindset equips you with the resilience to bounce back from setbacks. Instead of viewing failures as a reflection of your worth, you see them as learning experiences that contribute to your growth and development.

Self-Belief: Ultimately, a shift in mindset cultivates a deep sense of self-belief. When you truly believe in your abilities and worth, your confidence naturally increases, leading to a more fulfilling and empowered life.

So, think of a mindset shift as upgrading your internal software to a more positive and empowering version. It’s about rewiring your thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes to align with the confident, capable person you are. Remember, changing your mindset is a powerful tool on your journey to building lasting self-confidence.

 

Incremental Progress:

Improving self-confidence is like climbing a staircase – one step at a time. Celebrating small successes keeps you motivated and encourages you to keep moving forward, even when the going gets tough.

Let’s dive into why taking small steps and focusing on incremental progress is like building a sturdy foundation for your self-confidence, rather than trying to change everything all at once. Here’s why this approach is key:

Manageable Goals: When you break down your self-confidence goals into smaller, achievable steps, they become more manageable and less overwhelming. It’s like climbing a staircase – one step at a time gets you to the top, instead of trying to leap to the top in one go.

Celebrating Wins: Incremental progress allows you to celebrate small victories along the way. Each small success boosts your confidence and motivates you to keep going. It’s like collecting puzzle pieces – each one brings you closer to completing the picture.

Building Consistency: Small, consistent actions are easier to maintain than drastic changes. By focusing on incremental progress, you create habits and routines that support your self-confidence journey in the long term. It’s like laying one brick at a time to build a solid foundation.

Learning and Adjusting: Taking small steps gives you the opportunity to learn from each experience and adjust your approach as needed. It’s a process of trial and error that helps you understand what works best for you and what boosts your confidence effectively.

Avoiding Burnout: Trying to change too fast can lead to burnout and frustration. Incremental progress allows you to pace yourself, ensuring that you stay motivated and engaged without feeling overwhelmed. It’s like running a marathon – steady progress wins the race.

Sustainable Growth: Building self-confidence is a journey, not a sprint. Incremental progress leads to sustainable growth, where the changes you make become integrated into your lifestyle and mindset. This gradual transformation is more likely to be lasting and impactful.

Build Momentum: Starting with achievable tasks can create a ripple effect. As you tackle the little things, you gain momentum and confidence to take on bigger challenges. It’s like building a strong foundation before constructing a skyscraper.

So, think of incremental progress as planting seeds that grow into a flourishing garden of self-confidence. It’s about taking small, consistent steps forward, nurturing your growth along the way, and embracing the journey with patience and persistence. Remember, slow and steady wins the race when it comes to building lasting self-confidence.

 

And, the final area to consider is…

Self-Awareness:

Paying attention to the little things allows you to understand what works best for you. You can identify your strengths, weaknesses, and areas for growth, which is essential for nurturing self-confidence.

Let’s have a chat about why self-awareness is like having a compass that guides you on your journey to building self-confidence. Here’s why being self-aware is crucial:

Understanding Your Strengths and Weaknesses: Self-awareness helps you recognize your strengths and weaknesses. By acknowledging what you’re good at and areas where you can improve, you can set realistic goals and work on enhancing your confidence in specific areas.

Identifying Limiting Beliefs: Self-awareness allows you to pinpoint any negative or limiting beliefs you may hold about yourself. By becoming aware of these beliefs, you can challenge and reframe them, paving the way for a more positive self-image and increased confidence.

Recognising Triggers: Being self-aware means understanding what triggers feelings of self-doubt or insecurity in you. By identifying these triggers, you can develop strategies to manage them effectively and prevent them from undermining your confidence.

Embracing Authenticity: Self-awareness encourages you to embrace your authentic self. When you are true to who you are and align your actions with your values and beliefs, you cultivate a sense of inner confidence that radiates outward.

Improving Self-Image: By being self-aware, you can cultivate a more balanced and realistic self-image. This means seeing yourself accurately, appreciating your strengths, and accepting your areas for growth without harsh self-criticism.

Enhancing Emotional Intelligence: Self-awareness is closely linked to emotional intelligence, which involves understanding and managing your emotions effectively. By developing emotional intelligence, you can navigate challenging situations with confidence and resilience.

Empowering Self-Reflection: Self-awareness empowers you to engage in regular self-reflection. This introspective practice allows you to track your progress, celebrate your achievements, and make adjustments to continue growing your confidence.

So, think of self-awareness as the flashlight that illuminates the path to self-confidence. It’s about shining a light on your inner landscape, understanding yourself deeply, and using that insight to empower your journey towards greater self-assurance. Remember, self-awareness is the foundation upon which a strong and resilient self-confidence is built.

So, whether it’s completing a small task, practicing gratitude, or simply taking a moment to appreciate yourself, these little actions compound over time and shape your self-image. Remember, progress is progress, no matter how small, and every step you take towards building your confidence counts!

 

Conclusion:

There are four main reasons why building your self-confidence in small achievable steps is more conducive to success.

  1. Consistency: Consistently practicing small acts of self-care, positive self-talk, or setting and achieving small goals can build a foundation of confidence over time. Each small win adds up and reinforces your belief in yourself.
  2. Mindset Change: By focusing on the small victories, you train your brain to notice and appreciate your progress. This shift in mindset helps you see yourself in a more positive light, leading to a boost in confidence.
  3. Incremental Progress: Improving self-confidence is like climbing a staircase – one step at a time. Celebrating small successes keeps you motivated and encourages you to keep moving forward, even when the going gets tough.
  4. Self-Awareness: Paying attention to the little things allows you to understand what works best for you. You can identify your strengths, weaknesses, and areas for growth, which is essential for nurturing self-confidence.

So there you have it. Building self-confidence that you sustain over time, is best gained by collecting small, individual successes and allowing your confidence and self-esteem to grow with every one.

You’re now ready to begin your journey to become a happy, self-assured and confident human being!

If you have any questions, please ask them here.