Can I Fake Confidence?

Does your lack of self-confidence, make you feel like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel? Do you feel that you’ll never be confident?

Well, simply acting like a confident person, could be the right stepping-stone for you.

Fake it ’till you make it?

So, in answer to the question, “Can I fake confidence?” You could certainly fake confidence to the degree that other people would see you as a confident person. And, it’s definitely a good strategy to use while you’re building up your own confidence.

Self-esteem is often based on what you believe other people think of you. So, if they treat you as a confident person, your self confidence is likely to improve organically.

You might not be aware, but there are so many celebrities who suffer from low self-confidence and self-esteem. Even super-stars like Emma Watson, Jennifer Lopez and Mariah Carey are sufferers. Although the media articles can often make it seem like low confidence and self-esteem only affects women, there are also many male celebrities like David Bowie and Tom Hanks that suffer too.

But, ‘acting as if‘ can often be a short term answer.

When you think about it, people have been faking confidence for years.

Have you ever been watching a TV show, or Movie for example, where one of the characters is a charismatic and totally self confident businessman? Then a few weeks later he’s playing the part of a drug addict, or high school drop-out, etc.?

Actors, act. I know that’s not really a revelation. But when you watched them play either part, did you think, “wow, he’s good at acting”, or did you just see him as the person he was portraying?

My guess, is that you saw them as the person they were pretending to be? Act confidently and people will perceive you as confident.

 

So, how does fake confidence work?

As I said earlier, your level of self-confidence can be influenced by the reactions of other people. In fact, when you lack self-confidence, just believing that they’ll think poorly of you, can be enough to stop you moving forward with something.

If you have low self-confidence, that lack will probably show up as an increase in anxiety. Maybe you struggle to remember what you were going to say, or your mind goes blank? You might even start sweating and your heart might start racing.

Put this together with thoughts of previous failures and embarrassing situations you’ve suffered in the past, and you’ll begin to act in a way that can make others actually lose confidence in you.

So, it stands to reason that if they see you as confident and competent, the way they treat you will be different than if they thought you were incapable, or unqualified, etc.

If they treat you as worthy, you’ll begin to feel more worthy.

 

How do I fake confidence then?

To change a belief can be a relatively simple thing to do, given the correct circumstances. One of the things that can speed it up, is to convince your brain that it’s already happened.

As I mentioned in my confidence and success workbook, your mind loves to be right and will do whatever it takes to prove it.

‘Act as if‘ is a phrase that can be heard often in psychological circles. It’s an effective mindset to remember. By Acting as if you’re already confident, your sub-conscious mind will try it’s best to reinforce that ‘fact’.

Whenever you feel yourself becoming tense about a situation, consider how you would feel if you were a confident and powerful person.

How would you be standing? What would your posture be? What sort of things would you be saying to yourself? How would you be breathing, etc.? Once you know how a confident person would act in this situation, simply copy those things.

The idea is to go through the routines of being a confident person. Even though initially, they might feel forced, continue doing them until being confident in that situation becomes real.

When you act confidently, you’ll be surprised how helpful your mind will be.

 

Next steps…

I believe that thoughts are things; whatever we focus and take action on consistently, will become true.

By acting as if, you’re presenting to your mind that you’re confident. It wants to help, so releases the thoughts and feelings that assist in making you feel confident.

Now, clearly if you were able to pull off the illusion of being confident easily, there wouldn’t be a problem in the first place. So, I’m not saying that this will only work if you act super confident all the time.

But, even if you’re only able to control your breathing, or stand tall, or take confidence from the fact that you know the subject well, etc. your self-confidence will start to improve.

You can also start to make small changes to the way you act generally. Maybe you could start a conversation with your local shopkeeper, or your Post Woman for example. The fact that you felt able to take some control will move you forward.

With practice, you’ll automatically feel more confident when you are confronted with that same situation in the future.

Why not give it a try over the next couple of weeks? I think the effect will surprise you!

Have you had any success you’d like to share? Let me know. Your success can help someone else be successful, so please share the love  😉